Black, Indigenous and People of Color (BIPOC) are at risk of experiencing trauma due to mental and emotional injury from a variety of causes.

If you have experienced such trauma, you may find that your relationships are impacted. Consider these strategies to protect and manage your closest relationships and all that are important to you.

Recognize triggers

We can be triggered by and experience racism.

The impacts can go beyond our own emotional pain and psychological distress to affect our relationships. When we feel triggered, it’s important to:

• Identify your emotions—Are we feeling surprise, fear, sadness, disgust, anger? It can be helpful to name to our emotions so we can use our knowledge about how to deal with them and seek help if necessary.
• Recognize the validity of your emotions—We are right to feel the way we do, and we don’t need to waste our energy questioning that. It’s important to take the time to understand how we are feeling.
• Manage your emotions—When we know what we are feeling, we are in a better place to be in control of how to approach and react to people and situations. This can have beneficial impacts for our relationships.

Set boundaries

With family members and friends, co-workers and even strangers, we must feel safe to be ourselves and feel respected. Setting and sticking to personal boundaries can help. Here’s how you can do it:

• Prioritize needs—Take the time to think through where you stand, what you can and cannot tolerate, and what makes you feel happy or uncomfortable.
• Anticipate resistance—Expect that others may not easily understand your boundaries, especially if they have different backgrounds or personalities.
• Communicate boundaries—Clearly and directly let others know of your boundaries and reiterate them if you feel they are being overstepped.
• Distance yourself if necessary—If you feel disrespected or have your boundaries crossed repeatedly, it may be time to cut off further interactions to protect your emotional wellbeing.

Practice self-care

We are our own best advocates. It is vitally important that we take time to do the things that make us happy, keep us healthy and give us an outlet from negativity. Not only will our wellbeing improve, but our relationships will also benefit. Try these:

• Try a delicious new recipe—Taking time to enjoy cooking or baking can be relaxing and fruitful when it’s time to eat!
• Enjoy quiet time to rest or nap—Sometimes it can be hard to take a break. Take the opportunities as they arise and enjoy every moment!
• Catch up for a visit or phone call with a loved one—Connecting with others can increase your sense of safety, belonging and security.
• Read a book or start a hobby—Keep your mind active and engaged in activities that bring you joy.
• Volunteer—Giving of yourself to help others can improve your confidence, self-esteem and life satisfaction.
• Get outside for fresh air and exercise—Sunshine and nature have been proven to boost mood.

Additional emotional support resources

For more on BIPOC mental health, visit our website for July BIPOC Mental Health Awareness Month, MagellanHealthcare.com/BIPOC-MH, and be sure to check out the BIPOC mental health tip sheets and awareness campaign toolkit.

You can also check out a recording from our webinar, “BIPOC mental health and relationships.”

On May 3, the U.S. Surgeon General issued an advisory calling attention to the public health crisis of loneliness, isolation, and lack of connection, calling it an “Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation.”

Loneliness is the feeling of being isolated, or alone. It isn’t always tied to the amount of time you spend with other people but can come from a gap between the relationships you have and the ones you need or want.

There may not be a magic cure for loneliness, but there are healthy ways to cope and reconnect socially and regain a sense of belonging. Here are five steps to reduce loneliness:

1. Try helping someone else – Helping just one person at one time is a way to connect that improves the life of another, makes you feel better about yourself, and can be a great way to help people and meet others who share your interests. You can smile and be friendly, stop to help a neighbor, volunteer your time or donate food.
2. Think about getting a pet or finding a way to interact with animals – A pet can be a great companion, and source of comfort and may also lower stress and blood pressure. If you can’t have a pet, there are many volunteer opportunities to help animals in every community.
3. Take care of the relationships you already have – Reaching out to friends and family can help strengthen your sense of belonging. Set aside a few hours a week to connect. There doesn’t have to be a specific reason to call, and the call doesn’t have to be that long. A familiar look or a loving smile can change our experience instantly, even if we are far away or unable to see each other. You never know how reaching out to just one person may connect you to others.
4. Find new connections through activities you enjoy – Start or restart a hobby. Take a class to learn something new. Check out programs at the library or community center. You can invite friends or acquaintances you want to get to know better. Alternatively, you can go alone and meet people who share at least one interest of yours.
5. Talk with a counselor – It can be hard to make changes on your own and scary to think about being in social situations. If loneliness makes it hard for you to go about your day, a counselor can help.

As you think about taking small steps, remember the importance of self-care to help you feel better from the inside out. Exercise, healthy eating, proper sleep, sunshine and meditation are good ways to improve your emotional health.

Sources:

• Healthwise
• Surgeon General’s Advisory on Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation – PDF