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Stress Management: Helping Your Child With Stress

Childhood isn’t all fun and games. Even young children can feel worried and stressed.

Stress can come from outside sources, such as family, friends, and school. It can also come from children themselves. Just like adults, children may expect too much of themselves and then feel stressed when they feel that they have failed.

How can you help your child with stress?

Adults can help children and teens with stress in many ways. Three important things you can do are to:

  • Try to reduce the amount of stress in your lives.
  • Help them build positive coping skills.
  • Teach them to let stress out.

Reduce the amount of stress in your lives

  • Acknowledge your child’s feelings. When children seem sad or scared, for example, tell them you notice they are sad or scared. If appropriate, reassure them that you can understand why they would feel sad or scared.
  • Develop trust, and let your child know that mistakes are learning experiences.
  • Be supportive, and listen to your child’s concerns. Allow your child to try to solve his or her own problems, if appropriate. But offer to help and be available to your child when he or she needs you.
  • Show love, warmth, and care. Hug your child often.
  • Have clear expectations without being too strict. Let your child know that cooperation is more important than competition.
  • Don’t over-schedule your child with too many activities.
  • Be aware of what your child wants (not just what you want).

Build positive coping skills

It is important to help children learn positive coping skills. These skills are often carried into adult life.

  • Provide a good example. Keep calm, and express your anger in appropriate ways. Think through plans to reduce stress, and share them with your family.
  • Teach them about consequences. Children need to learn about the consequences—good and bad—of their actions. For example, if they do all of their chores on time, they will get their allowance. If they break another child’s toy, they must find a way to replace it.
  • Encourage rational thinking. Help your children understand what is fantasy and what is reality. For example, help them see that their behavior did not cause a divorce, or that they are not failures because they were not picked first for something.
  • Provide them with some control. Allow your children to make choices within your family framework. For example, allow them to arrange their rooms, choose family activities, and help make family decisions.
  • Encourage them to eat healthy foods, and emphasize the importance of a healthy lifestyle.

Get the stress out

Finding ways to get stress out of their systems will help children feel better. The best ways to relieve stress are different for each person. Try some of these ideas to see which ones work for your child:

  • Exercise. Regular exercise is one of the best ways to manage stress. For children, this means activities like walking, bike-riding, outdoor play, and individual and group sports.
  • Write or draw. Older children often find it helpful to write about the things that are bothering them. Younger children may be helped by drawing about those things.
  • Let feelings out. Invite your child to talk, laugh, cry, and express anger when he or she needs to.
  • Do something fun. A hobby can help your child relax. Volunteer work or work that helps others can be a great stress reliever for older children.
  • Learn ways to relax. This can include breathing exercises, muscle relaxation exercises, massage, aromatherapy, meditating, praying, yoga, or relaxing exercises like tai chi and qi gong.
  • Laugh. Laughter really can be the best medicine. You can be a good role model in this area by looking for the humor in life. Your child can learn this valuable skill by watching you.

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13 tips to take control of stress

Stress is a part of everyone’s life in one way or another. But did you ever consider that stress doesn’t always have to be a bad thing? What if you found ways to make stress a positive thing?
Stress is complicated and tends to impact people over a long period of time. Here are a few tips to help you manage your stress.

1. Get organized. Being unorganized creates stress and leaves you feeling out of control and overwhelmed. Get your house or your desk or your car in order and then feel the wave of relief that comes over you.

2. See things from another angle. View stress as an energizer. Consider each new demand as a challenge, no matter how difficult it may seem.

3. Take charge. Although you can’t control other people’s actions, you can control your response to what comes your way. When it comes to managing your emotions, you’re the boss.

4. Think big. Think in terms of long-range goals, not just day-to-day problems so you can see beyond the immediate situation.

5. Find true friends. Having supportive friends is a key to reducing stress. Good friends should recognize your strengths and lend a hand in stressful situations.

6. Learn from it. Look for meaning in the stress you have experienced. For example, a sick family member may have caused a great deal of stress, but the situation brought your family closer.

7. Be proactive. Learn to recognize the early signs of your stress, such as anger, taking on too many things, working too much or irregular sleep patterns. Think about what you can do to reduce the negative stress effects.

8. Accept limits. Understand your boundaries. Set realistic expectations for yourself.

9. Use your strengths. Recognize your strengths and focus on projects that allow you to use them. Taking on too much can make you feel out of control.

10. Make decisions. Indecision increases stress. Start by making small decisions and acting on them.

11. Laugh. Laughter is indeed the best medicine. Laughing at yourself can relieve stress.

12. Keep yourself healthy. Take care of your body by eating healthy foods and drinking plenty of water. Find time to exercise.

13. Pay attention to your body. There are times when our bodies send signals telling us to slow down and take a break. When you experience physical signs such as exhaustion, restless sleep, headaches, body aches and other types of pains, take time to renew your body and your mind.

Resources
National Institute of Mental Health
www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/stress/index.shtml

Help is available. For additional information, visit MagellanHealth.com/MYMH

This document is for your information only. It is not meant to give medical advice. It should not be used to replace a visit with a provider. Magellan Health does not endorse other resources that may be mentioned here.




Manage your stress at work

Numerous studies show that job stress is far and away the major source of stress for American adults and that it has escalated progressively over the past few decades.* Negative work stress can come from a variety of factors including having little control but lots of demands, fear of being laid off or fired, working additional overtime due to budget cuts or pressure due to constantly rising expectations.

Start your day off right

After scrambling to get the kids fed and off to school, dodging traffic and combating road rage, and gulping down coffee in lieu of a healthy breakfast, many people arrive at work stressed, and become more reactive to stress at work. In fact, you may be surprised by how much more reactive to stress you are when you have a stressful morning. If you start off the day with good nutrition, proper planning, and a positive attitude, you may find the stress of the workplace rolling off your back more easily.

Be clear about your role

One of the factors that contributes to job burnout is unclear requirements. If you don’t know exactly what’s expected of you, or if the requirements keep changing with little notice, you may find yourself much more stressed than necessary. If you find yourself falling into the trap of never knowing if what you’re doing is enough, it may help to have a talk with your supervisor and go over expectations, and strategies for meeting them.

Stay away from conflict

Interpersonal conflict takes a toll on your physical and emotional health. Because conflict among co-workers is so difficult to escape, it’s a good idea to avoid conflict at work as much as possible.

That means staying away from gossip, not sharing too many of your personal opinions about religion and politics, and steering clear of colorful office humor. Try to limit contact with those who don’t work well with others. If you do have to deal with conflict try these conflict resolution strategies.

Stay organized

Even if you’re a naturally disorganized person, taking the time to plan ahead to stay organized can help you decrease stress at work. Being organized with your time results in less rushing in the morning to avoid being late and being able to leave at the end of the day with a clear mind.

Get comfortable

Another surprising stressor at work is physical discomfort. You may not notice the stress you experience when you are in an uncomfortable chair for a few minutes. But if you practically live in that chair when you’re at work, you can have a sore back and be more reactive to stress because of it. Even small things like office noise can be distracting and cause low-grade frustration. Do what you can to ensure that you’re working from a quiet, comfortable and soothing workspace.

Form positive relationships

While the negative effects of stress are very real, much of the stress we experience can be alleviated simply by talking about it. That’s why positive relationships at work are so important. Even if they can’t solve your problems, the simple act of verbalizing your stress with someone you trust can actually reduce the severity–or clear it up altogether.

Start exercising

Many people are feeling ill effects from leading a sedentary lifestyle. One way you can combat that, and manage stress at work at the same time, is to get some exercise during your lunch break and perhaps take short exercise breaks throughout the day. This can help you blow off steam, lift your mood, and get into better shape.

Keep perfectionism in check

Being a high achiever can help you feel good about yourself and excel at work. Being a perfectionist, on the other hand, can drive you and the people around you a little nuts. Especially in busy, fast-paced jobs, you may not be able to do everything perfectly. But striving to just do your best and then congratulating yourself on the effort is a good strategy. Your results will actually be better and you’ll be much less stressed at work.

Don’t lose sight of your purpose

Each of us is more than the work we do. Taking the time to understand what motivates us and makes us happy is time well spent.  When we starve our purpose—by not engaging with our work, suppressing our creativity, or ignoring our relationships (including the one with ourselves)—we trigger our stress response. When our life is full of nothing but work and obligations, we begin to feel bitter, resentful, depressed, and even angry. The antidote to these feelings is to infuse your life with a sense of purpose and gratitude for what you have every day.

Establish boundaries

In today’s digital world, it’s easy to feel pressure to be available 24 hours a day. Develop some work-life boundaries for yourself. That might mean making a rule not to check email from home in the evening, or not answering the phone during dinner. Although people have different preferences when it comes to how much they blend their work and home life, creating clear boundaries between these realms can reduce the potential for work- life conflict and the stress that goes with it.

For additional information, visit MagellanHealth.com/MYMH

* The American Institute of Stress, Workplace Stress, January 12, 2018. Retrieved from https://www.stress.org/workplace-stress/